Les Sentiments d'Hier

I'm posting the morning after the day before, because by the time I got to bed last night I was totally spent.

So, yesterday happened in two parts.

Nice chilled day. Sat in bed making a mobile to go outside the cat isolation unit, because the cats in there often get lonely and bored, so it'll give them something to look at. Amazingly this took me most of my awake day. I watched a Canadian comedy I've found on Netflix called Kim's Convenience, so watched that whilst tinkering. I was in the garden room because Rob's kids were dumped on us on Saturday. So they were coming in and out of the room to access the garden. The weather was absolutely fantastic!

I enjoy crafting, so I was in a content, interested, mood most of the day. I was fairly amused by the television. A little embarrassed for being in my nightie all day, with the kids walking past me. It was nice to hear Rob putting up the hammock-seat I gave him for his birthday, and to hear the kids loving it, but I'm not sure what emotion that was.

Their mother was supposed to pick them up, but told Rob to take them home at the last minute, which annoyed me. Not long after he left he phoned to tell me that my car had exploded. This confused me, given that he was supposedly some distance away, and my car was on the drive. Turned out he took my car without my permission. Turned out he took my debit card without my permission. Turned out he isn't insured to drive my car. That pretty much sums it up. I went through confusion, frustration, being annoyed, being annoyed, trying to be patient, being annoyed, feeling sad and betrayed and used, and being annoyed some more. It took him 3 hours to get home. He was extremely sorry and trite. There's no point in yelling at him or telling him off. So I just felt so let down and pointless and useless. Helpless.

I was talking to a friend throughout, which helped a lot. I was reassured, and validated. 

And I was exhausted, so just went to sleep. Annoyed.

I'm also annoyed at myself for not taking that opportunity to go outside and practice screaming out loud, as is one of my therapy homeworks.

Soooo, in summary, yesterday I noticed experiencing:

- enjoyment

- content

- interested

- amused

- embarrassed

- satisfied maybe?

- confusion

- frustration

- helpless

- reassured

- validated

- sad

- betrayed

- used

- let down

- pointless

- useless

- exhausted

- annoyed x 7